God was that you?

I was stressed up with a lot of things that were running quite lately in my mind. I had even thought to give-up on certain things to reduce the pressure that I was constantly putting on my mind and my body. However, as it is said, that it is easier said than done goes for me too. We cannot give-up things at a single short and even if we do it sometimes, doing things rashly leaves us with regrets and guilt. Does that mean, overcoming our own weakness is that difficult? I was looking for some healing but all I was getting was the hurting.  I wanted to break through this chain of never ending worries and stress, but I couldn’t help myself as I felt trapped. While one day I was sitting on a bench near the jogger’s garden. I happened to meet an old woman, who was full of grace and the radiance of her face, somehow forced me to smile. As she saw me, she smiled back and said with her sweet mild tone, “only change seems like a permanent factor”. Hearing that I could hold my bewilderment and said, what does that mean? Sorry, but are you talking to me? She responded it with a big smile. Then she said, she has experienced along her age, but today seeing someone sitting next to her makes her nostalgic about her olden days. She saw her past version in me, feeling stress and bit restless as if the entire world would fall on her shoulder.  As she spoke of it, my eyes couldn’t hold the curiosity of asking, how she could read that clearly from the closed chambers of my soul. But before I could ask, she responded with a gentle tap on my hand and said again, life is what we want to make out of it. We shouldn’t be trapped with what life wants out of us. The difference is only that in first case, we hold the reins of our life and in lateral one life holds our reins. I gathered my courage and asked her if she can really read this widely and openly written on my face? She said, it takes experience to feel the pain of a quieter person, as they don’t easily share their pains. I was moved deeply to hear what the old woman just said. But, I couldn’t respond except to nod my head. Then she added, no matter how we feel today, tomorrow we may not feel the same.  Just like today gets converted into tomorrow, let your sorrows too get converted into hopes. Hope for better future, better tomorrow. If you really wish to see better version of yourself, lead yourself with leap of faith in yourself. See first in self what you want others to notice in you. Believe in yourself before you believe what other’s talks about you. Seeing you, I see a strong potential; I see power that is yet not relished. You are more than what you think you are. Even if you feel that you are struck and alone, but there is always someone looking for you and up to you and that person is God. Don’t put him in pain to see you like this. Don’t give up on him that easily, when he hasn’t given up on you. As I was just registering and digesting all the deep talks that I had been listening from the old woman, she once again tap and hold my hand and this time for a while. She said that she might not meet me again and we might not run into each other in future, but what she had shared today will always have imprint in my soul and she would always wish for my happiness.

After she left with a bright smile, all I could think was about the things that the old woman said and what sort of energy I felt when I was with her. I didn’t even ask her name and the moment I realized I could have said thanks or taken her number to keep in contact, I realized it was too late. The old woman had already left and I couldn’t find her with my curious eyes. I felt relieved and something in me had changed that day. I tried and even wished if I could see that old woman again, but like, she said that we might not meet again in future, I couldn’t see her again. That’s leaves me with a question for myself; God was that really you???

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